catlebrity

So I type the words “cat” and “celebrity” into the Google News search engine -- my internet research skills are quite advanced! -- and up comes a column by some dried-up-old-biddy* at the Village Voice mocking all those “insecure girls [who] convince themselves that dressing up as a slutty cat [on Halloween] is somehow empowering.”

But insecure girls dressing as slutty cats is THE BEST THING about Halloween. Better than candy, even. Dressing as a slutty cat is also appropriate for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Yom Kippur, Washington’s Birthday, Arbor Day -- any day, really.

Still, for those not going the slutty cat route, the article does have one good suggestion: “choose a celebrity who died in some horrible way, and then dress as them ‘in Heaven.’”

I’d suggest going as Liza Minelli -- though technically speaking, she’s not dead just yet.

Or, along the same lines, as David Gest (Scroll down a little for the full horror.)

You could also, of course, go as your favorite CAT.LEBRITY. I’m going as a Dennis Rodman cat with a noodle in my butt.

*Fact not confirmed at press time.

Tags: sluts,cats, slutty cats, halloween, yom kippur, david gest, ass kicked by liza minelli