Friday, November 18, 2005

Schrodinger's Cat.Lebrity

So this has nothing to do with celebrities, really, except for one formerly famous deaf actress and one semi-famous cult leader who says she channels an ancient dude from Atlantis -- or as I like to call it, Hotlantis -- named Ramtha. And the only cat involved is Schrodinger's. But I happened to catch “What the Bleep do We Know?” on cable last night. It’s this weird mixture of quantum physics, New Age insanity, and terrible, terrible CGI animated “comedy.” Oh, and along with all this we have a sappy comedy-melodrama in which Marlee Matlin plays a photographer who gives up Xanax with the help of a wise young black child and dancing CGI peptides (I think that's what they were).

Anyway, it is quite possibly the most irritating movie ever made. The movie's title is irritating. The insane New Age ideas are irritating. The “experts” propounding the insane New Age ideas are irritating. The CGI is irritating. The acting is irritating. The dialogue is irritating. The “humor” is irritating. The music is irritating. Even the end credits are irritating.

Oh, plus the “experts” in the film include the aforementioned cult leader, an ex-priest accused of child molestation, a former wacky Presidential Candidate, a homosexual-”curing” doctor, and a legitimate physicist who says his comments were “edited in such a way as to completely suppress my actual views about the matters the movie discusses.”

Speaking of, er, “alternative” religion, apparently TomKat’s demon spawn is a robot, or something.

And speaking of alleged child molestation, who knew that when Gary Glitter asked the musical question “Do you want to touch me there?” the “you” meant young boys and the “there” meant “in Vietnam?”

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