Sunday, July 30, 2006

What Jew Talkin' 'Bout, Mel?

Mel Gibson, shown here with his lawyers, gave a press conference this Saturday in an attempt to apologize for that impromptu anti-Semitic tirade he launched into after being arrested for drunk driving on Friday night.

Things got off to a rocky start when Gibson opened the floor to questions by calling on “you, the fucking Jew in the back row. Yeah, you, ask me one of your fucking Jew questions, you filthy money-changing, dreidel-spinning, Jew-fro-sporting Christ-killing Jewy Jew-pants!”

It was not immediately clear why Gibson was wearing women's clothing.

For more pictures of Mel’s lawyers, see Cats That Look Like Hitler.

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Saturday, July 29, 2006

Kitties on Film: Going Bananas!

Yes, we want no bananas!
Cat banana ennui.
Inspector Cat and the Case of Bananas
When in doubt, lick it.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Lance Bass is a Pretty Kitty

We weren’t shocked, exactly, when Ellen came out of the closet. Or Rosie. Or even Donald Rumsfeld. But Lance Bass!? LANCE motherfucking BASS!!?? We never saw that one coming.

Still, looking through the old photos of Lance we have in our, ah, private collection, we’re thinking maybe we should have picked up a hint or two.

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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ann Coulter, Death Warmed Over in a LBD

This excessive heat makes me too sleepy to do any photoshopping today, so here' s a thoroughly UNphotoshopped little picture I found of Ann Coulter in a sort of zombie-minx pose. (The decaying flesh on her legs detracts a little from the glamour of it all.) As always, she's wearing her trademark Little Black Dress. Does she ever wash that thing? It must reek to high heaven.

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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Dazed and Confused Links

Ex-Ice Princess Oksana Baiul has given up on makeup entirely; now she simply dips her face in boiling oil to get a nice crispy sheen.

Excited by her upcoming re-nuptuals, Pam takes her nipples out for a walk -- and then later for a swim.

Not for the first time, Paris kisses a weasel!

No, she’s too good-looking to be Ann Coulter.

Do you believe in Suri?

Tara Reid goes around the block in a daze.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

What (Drugged-Out) Justin Timberlake Saw

The cat's out of the bag! Turns out our dear little Justin Timberlake loves the drugs. In fact, we at cat.lebrity have learned, when he was performing that notorious Super Bowl halftime show he was so whacked out on LSD that THIS is what he saw when Janet's boob came popping out.

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Being Britney

See the world through Britney's eyes!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Sad Little Pussy Links

Paris pets the pussy!

Apparently, she’ll be doing a lot more of that now, as she claims she’s boycotting sex for a year.

Presumably that’ll give this thing some time to recover. Oh, who are we kidding? It’s never going to fully recover.

Ladies and gentlemen, the face of L’Oreal, sans L’Oreal.

But who needs makeup when you’re made of wax?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Suri Cruise Found! (In a Bag)

Here, at long last, is the authentic photo of Suri Cruise that we’ve all been waiting for. Apparently the reason we hadn’t seen her until now is that she spent most of the last eight weeks hiding in a bag. Hey, that’s perfectly normal behavior for a kitten. What’s strange is that -- even apart from the fact that she’s a kitten -- she doesn’t look much like Tom, or Katie. Actually, she looks more like ... no, that can’t be. I mean, he died in 1987 or something, and we all know there’s no such thing as reincarnation. Or is there?

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Keith Richards: Pirate of the Cat-ribbean!

Yep, Keith Richards (who's reportedly still alive) will appear in the next installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. Which makes perfect sense, because he's quite fond of rum, and already has his own costume!

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Kitties on Film: Cat Dancers

We like the cats, the cats that go boom!

Cat! I’m a kitty cat! (A classic.)
Ascii Cat Dance!
Dancehall kitten!
Warning! Not actual cat.
Neither is this. (It's cornstarch. Watch the whole thing for the full effect.)

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