catlebrity

You probably know that Paris Hilton is recording an album. And you may have seen the video of her singing, well, it’s either a Rod Stewart song or her impression of tiny Chihuahua puppies being thrown into a thresher.

But I bet you don’t realize that her album isn’t going to be dance music or hip hop. It’s going to be show tunes. Paris will accompany herself on piano, with backup from a flute player she found on craigslist. Which is a little odd, because usually Paris is the one doing the blowing. No, I didn't mean it THAT way, you filthy, filthy people. She does a mean Aqualung!

Want more Paris? Try here, here, and here.

And while we’re at it, here’s her ex-BFF Nicole, in what is possibly the most disturbing picture on our little blog.

And here, Christian Slater makes an appearance in Paris’ bush.

tags: paris hilton, album, singing, screeching, aqualung

Purr-fect! Get it? Get it?

Look, that joke isn't any worse than the dialogue in the Halle Berry Catwoman movie, which we've watched 30 times. Well, three. Or maybe two and a half. Anyway, Halle-Catwoman did call something "purr-fect" in the movie, so our joke is EXACTLY as bad as the dialogue in the movie.

Anyway again: We at Cat.Lebrity are pleased to present the first AUTHENTIC photo* of Angelina's new bundle of joy! You can see the resemblance to her already. But, er, I don't know how to say this exactly, but are we absolutely SURE Brad's the father?

NOTE: By "authentic photo" we mean that the pictures we hastily photoshopped together were, in fact, authentic photos and not, like, drawings. And that at least one of them featured Angelina, or a portion thereof. We're pretty sure.

tags: brangelina, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, shiloh, baby, kitten, lips, photoshop

We haven't abandoned this little blog. We're just very very sleepy.

But, hey, our old posts are still funny. So go look at them.